sam lowe / a life, interrupted / still here

so… what the f✘ck happened?

i’m sam. if you came here for handstands, hi. same woman. extremely different fucking administrative burden.

this is my account of domestic violence and the long aftermath of a marriage that is, somehow, still legally a marriage. what happened reached my body, my money, my work, and my education. in a few years, a life i loved became almost unrecognizable.

but that life was big. it still belongs in the story. the friends, the work, the places, the joy, my daughter. i’m keeping all of it in the frame.

(i wanted a marriage. apparently i was commissioning a documentary.)

start with the person. then follow what happened.

personal history, original art & commentary. facts, allegations, findings, and interpretation are identified where they appear.

Decorative heart shaped patch with contrasting black and purple halves, adorned with glitter, sequins, lace, ribbon, a safety pin, pearl, and star embellishments.

Graffiti-style art with flames, stars, and swirling patterns, featuring the text 'personal / political / poorf*cking timed' with pin and star motifs.

01 / the person / villain origin story

first, there was a whole fucking life.

jersey roots. the vans crew who treated me like their punk-lite little sister. austin friends who made getting out feel like arriving somewhere. then studios, teaching, travel, and people i will love till i die. i remember the good shit in exquisite detail.

the handstands were real. so were the friendships, the work, and the beautiful days. that life matters here because it was mine—and because you need to know what existed before you can understand what was lost.

(i did have a personality before i had exhibits. several, actually. there are photos.)

meet the person. start earlier. ↗

The upside-down part used to be voluntary: sunset handstands and friendship in a pink, lilac and silver Burn Book spread. — the practice. the friendships. the actual life.

like if legally blonde

had rage issues and no support system.

02 / the reading did not stop / FML

the plot is bad. the reading is worse.

motherhood was the dream. i got my girl. i would like to raise her without another adult-generated fucking situation arriving before lunch. (the toddler already has a full agenda. we are staffed.)

a toddler. no fucking time. meanwhile, syracuse. the reading. the mortgage. i actually fucking love law school, which is inconvenient when all i want to do is lie down. counterterrorism? interested as hell. another PDF about my own life? jesus fucking christ.

(i thought the case studies would be about other fucking people.)

school, motherhood & the actual fucking context ↗

The syllabus did not account for the lore. An orange, lilac and black Burn Book spread with law books, snacks, highlighters and the note: not a lawyer. yet. — mad respect to my professors and the people at syracuse who kept making room for us. my daughter has contributed to class. she is not enrolled. she does have thoughts.
open the spread. the syllabus has concerns. ↗

A colorful butterfly tattoo with a banner across it that reads 'girlhood ended when the cops got involved' in black text.

A collage featuring a woman with blonde hair wearing a cropped t-shirt with a pink Buddha and leopard print shorts, standing in front of a scenic landscape with mountains, a butterfly, and an illustration of a courthouse. The text on the collage discusses a lawsuit against Northwestern Mutual for a legal dispute.

Colorful abstract artwork with rainbow-colored flames, black stars, a crescent moon, an eye, and a speech bubble containing the text 'still f*cking vibing.'.

Torn paper with text reading "Exhibit A: Still Here," decorated with lipstick kiss marks, black paint splatters, and pieces of blue tape, with a burn mark on the right side.

context clip / april 2026 deposition

paul reads my Burn Book entry about Brandon out loud for the record. the transcript is, somehow, genuinely funny. i was under oath. he was doing the reading. the genre remains unclear.

A collage-style poster discussing Colorado family law and the pattern of coercive control, highlighting definitions, involved elements, relevant bills, and legal considerations.

02 / what happened / why i kept the records

leaving was not where the credits rolled.

the violence is part of this story. so is the financial damage, the work of getting protection, and the contact and reporting that followed. i was trying to raise my daughter and stay in school while the aftermath kept inventing new departments.

that is why there is an archive. the money and the Northwestern Mutual dispute have one chapter. the unwanted contact, police threats, school complaints, and legal boundaries have another. the graphics put pieces of that experience back in context.

(i had other plans for my life. even the bad ones involved less clerical work.)

why i built the legal arsenal ↗follow the money & the records ↗

A very unwanted audience. The online aftermath. Pink and lavender zine cover with a watching eye and butterfly. — one part of the aftermath. the chapter includes the messages, source notes, and limits of what each image establishes.

Informative poster on coerced debt, with artistic decorations including stars, butterflies, and purple netting, explaining debt laws and collection agency rules.

03 / life is still happening / somehow

still a whole fucking person.

i’m raising my daughter and trying to finish law school, which i actually love. inconveniently, being interested in the reading does not create additional hours in the day. neither does swearing at the calendar. extensive field research.

i still want music, climbing, yoga, art, an unnecessarily specific pink, and time outside with my girl and our dog. i want to laugh with my friends about something that does not require an attachment. i’m grateful for them. i’m also fucking tired. both fit.

(no tidy comeback montage. i am still in the middle. there is laundry.)

life lately. all of it. ↗

brb. Sam’s personal archive: a mirror portrait in cobalt blue xerox, denim, holographic foil and translucent orange. — brb. having interests.

A collage featuring a woman with red hair in a white dress holding a bouquet of white roses and standing with two dogs against a cityscape backdrop. The collage is decorated with graphic elements like stars, flames, and paint splatters. There is bold text that reads 'divorce, babe.' and a humorous, provocative caption 'a formal dissolution of what the f**k was that.'

Vintage torn paper style sign with the text 'all bridges burned' and a smaller note saying 'please use an alternate route' alongside an illustration of a stone bridge over a river.

Mixed media artwork depicting mountains with fire, a winding road, and various symbols including clouds, hearts, stars, a skull with heart eyes, a broken heart, an eye with a heart in it, a crescent moon, a dagger in a heart, and a yin-yang symbol, in a collage style with torn paper and paint splatters.

A collage-style graphic with mountain scenery, torn paper textures, and bold black text stating "bad bitch by design." The graphic includes phrases "boulder-based," "battle-tested," and "still here. still a problem."

A woman with long blonde hair, wearing a white crochet dress over lingerie, standing in a decorated pink room, covering her eyes with her hand, with shelves of various items and plants in the background.

still here. loud as f✘ck.

if you made it this far, hi. i’m still in the fucking middle. raising my girl. doing the reading. trying to have one afternoon that does not become a paragraph.

(would like future character development to occur through hobbies. respectfully.)

the whole fucking story ↗

the burn book & commentary ↗