(my apologies for failing to perform distress to counsel’s satisfaction.)
anyway, i sued.
northwestern mutual, et al.
the “et al.” is doing a concerning amount of work.
since august 2025: amended complaints, defense responses, discovery disputes, depositions, and an impressive commitment to putting things in writing.
what followed has included civil procedure, literary criticism, a country music recommendation, and a truly exceptional level of interest in my instagram.
at one point, opposing counsel attached my blog to a court filing and described it as “profanity-laced.”
fair. extremely observant.
litigation’s greatest hits.
a brief procedural history of what the actual f✘ck.
(a list of my personal favorites)
01. the court has been informed that i swear.
my blog became Exhibit 3. opposing counsel described it as “profanity-laced.”
an allegation i am prepared to stipulate to. the f✘cks are authentic.
november 12, 2025 · supplemental declaration, ¶ 7 & exhibit 3
02. apparently, i have a readership.
their production breakdown assigned a 3,348-page range to my social posts, website, and socials.
babe. the follow button is right f✘cking there.
december 15, 2025 · production breakdown, NM 003602–006949
03. discovery now includes country music.
during my deposition, while challenging my credibility, counsel asked whether i knew “Liars Lie.”
“It’s a good song. You should check it out.”
sir, i am under oath. why the f✘ck is there a listening assignment.
april 8, 2026 · deposition, p. 355
04. an unexpected promotion.
brandon’s attorney put “victimhood” in quotation marks, argued that my posts demonstrated a “lack of fear,” and referred to “the criminal charges you created.”
apparently i’m insufficiently traumatized and also the prosecuting agent.
a challenging performance review. i would like the salary.
april 1, 2026 · discovery letter, pp. 2 & 7
05. the hostility has a graduate degree.
northwestern mutual’s july reply brief called my opposition “stream of consciousness gibberish.” a section heading introduced the word “effluvium.”
i respect the commitment to being a b✶tch at a postgraduate reading level.
July 17, 2026 · reply brief, pp. 1–3
anyway. please see attached.
an impressive commitment to saying that sh✘t out loud.
